


Everything I Want

by agentofSHIELD



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Loki feels isolated, M/M, WIP, he just wants to be loved, probably some smut down the line
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-01 00:55:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentofSHIELD/pseuds/agentofSHIELD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fandral was perfect. He was everything Loki wanted and more. But why would someone so perfect want an abomination like him?<br/>And what will happen when everything burns to the ground?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fandral

**Author's Note:**

> I may have accidentally started shipping Fandral/Loki today after seeing a post on tumblr and then this happened.

Ever since he was a child, Loki had a strange fascination with Fandral. At first, he didn't know or understand what it was, but as he grew up, he became more and more certain of what the twist in his gut was that occurred whenever Fandral walked into the room.

Fandral was beautiful: golden locks; a charming smile; and a sense of humor and wit that Loki, the master of wit himself, found impressive. Fandral was arrogant at the best of times, but his heart was full of warmth and goodness that Loki couldn't help but be drawn to.

When Loki was growing up, he became increasingly aware of how he was living in Thor's shadow, and he hated it. Everyone doted on Thor, and whilst Loki undoubtedly loved his brother, his heart filled with ice when he was dismissed as nothing more than a little boy tagging along behind his brave and heroic older brother.

The only person to never treat him as an inferior being was Fandral. He was several years Loki's senior, but he always ensured the young prince felt included and wanted among Thor's friends.

As they grew older, Volstagg, Sif and Hogun began to view Loki as a fragile person, unable to hold out in battle and attempted to discourage Loki from joining them and Thor on their numerous adventures across the Nine Realms. It was always Fandral who spoke up indignantly when he saw pain flash across Loki's pale features. It was always Fandral who stood at his side and watched his back on the battlefield.

And it was always Fandral, he supposed, that would be the only one he ever loved.

When Loki was just shy of adulthood, he began noticing how smitten he had become over the years.

It had started with Fandral's laugh; it was hearty, warm and genuine, and held not the slightest trace of malice or mockery when they laughed together.

Then it was everything else all at once: his smile; the mischievous gleam in his cool green eyes; his charm; his caring and considerate nature; and the way he fought on the battlefield.

Everything about Fandral was just perfect, and Loki wanted it all to himself.

Of course he knew he could never have him. Loki knew he was different, and an outsider in Asgardian society. Fandral's charm attracted so many that he himself would never look at Loki twice with such a choice of prospective lovers. It was no secret that he had bedded well over half of the maidens in Asgard. He could have whoever he wanted, and Loki knew that he was not good enough for a being as perfect as Fandral.

He could dream, though, and in those small moments, he allows himself to think that maybe, just maybe, Fandral does care for him too.

* * *

 

One late morning in the early days of the summer, Loki sat reading in the palace. It was becoming quite warm outside, and the cool rooms of the palace were much more preferable to the sticking heat outside.

"Loki," a cheerful voice called across the hall, interrupting his quiet musings.

Loki's heart leapt in his throat as he spun round with a grin, watching as Fandral strode over to him with a light spring in his step.

"Fandral," he replied, closing his book and walking to greet his friend.

Upon reaching one another, they shared a short embrace, Loki not missing how Fandral's hand lingered a second too long on the side of his neck.

"We're going riding this afternoon, might make a hunt of it," Fandral announced enthusiastically. "Would you care to join us?"

Loki smiled warmly, "I would be delighted, my friend," he replied, all plans for staying indoors forgotten. "Though would my presence be welcome with the others," he teased, half serious, raising a dark eyebrow.

Fandral scoffed with annoyance. "Oh to Hel with them. I want you there so you're there by my invitation. They can take their ridiculous attitudes and jump off the Bifrost for all I care." He grinned again, putting his arm around Loki's shoulders as they headed out towards the stables.

Loki chuckled fondly to himself, placing his own hand on the small of Fandral's back. "By Odin, you're more stubborn than I am."

Fandral laughed loudly, the sound vibrating through the hallway. "Oh come off it, you know that's not possible," he teased, laughing harder still when Loki moved his arm to jab him in the ribs with his sharp elbow.

Upon reaching the stables, Loki did not miss the disdainful looks the others shot him. Fandral did not miss them either. His expression darkened and his grip on Loki tightened. He led Loki inside to fetch their horses, his cheerful greetings to his friends somewhat forced. Loki's stomach flipped at Fandral's protective behaviour. It was these moments when he thought Fandral cared for him in the way he cared for Fandral. Of course, his illusion would be broken later, when Fandral would sit in the tavern with half a dozen maids upon his knee, but for now, Loki would allow himself to pretend, with a small pained smile on his lips.

* * *

 

Loki's predictions were correct. The Warriors Three, Lady Sif, Thor and himself sat in a well acquainted tavern that evening following a very successful hunt, their fresh kill strung up for all to see.

Volstagg and Thor were participating in a grotesque eating competition, which Volstagg would no doubt win, despite Thor's valiant efforts. Hogun and Sif sat head to head discussing battle tactics and planning their training for the following day and Fandral was recounting their day's adventure to numerous simpering women, who were all batting their eyelashes pathetically as he wove a captivating narrative with his rich voice. Loki sat alone, nursing his mead in his hands, trying not to look like he was listening intently to Fandral's conversation. He sighed laboriously, taking a long swig of the honey liquid in his mug.

He glanced across the table at Fandral, who quickly caught his eye. Fandral's grin widened and he winked at Loki. Loki smiled uncertainly back, ducking his gaze and attempting to hide the blush he was sure was creeping up his neck.

After another hour of sitting alone, apparently unwanted, he stood up to leave.

As he opened the door to walk out into the night, he was sure he heard someone calling his name. He glanced over his shoulder, but seeing no one who wanted his attention, he slipped outside, closing the heavy door behind him again.

With a sinking heart, he mounted his steed. He was half hoping Fandral would have asked him to stay.

He sighed as he coaxed his tired horse into a brisk trot, heading swiftly towards the palace.

After ten minutes of steady riding, the sound of galloping hooves sounded behind him. The rider was calling out for him.

Bringing his horse to a halt, he turned, waiting for his pursuer to catch up.

As the rider neared, it became apparent that it was Fandral. His heart leapt hopefully.  
"Fandral? Why did you leave the merriment?"

Fandral slowed as he approached, stopping before Loki. "Why did you?" he teased with a smirk.

The corner of Loki's mouth twitched into a wry smile "No one wanted me there, I thought it was apparent. And you?"

Fandral frowned, unhappy with Loki's answer. "I wanted you there."

Loki raised his eyebrows. "Oh really?" he challenged. "You seemed quite content with your new friends."

Fandral grinned mischeviously. "Jealous, are we, my prince?"

Loki rolled his eyes with a scoff, turning his steed around and resuming his trot towards the palace. Fandral fell into pace beside him, chuckling quietly.  
"In truth, those maidens were rather irritating. Grabbing me, making sickly giggling sounds at every word I say..." he sighed in exasperation.

Loki turned to him. "Then why surround yourself with them?"

Fandral shrugged. "Because I can, I suppose." He opened his mouth as if to continue, but shut it again with a frown.

Loki hummed noncommittally in acknowledgment.

For a while, the two men rode in a comfortable, pensive silence.

They rode so close to one another, that their knees would occasionally brush, sending shivers up Loki's spine each time they touched. He sighed to himself.

Fandral turned to him with a frown. "What ails you, my prince?"

Loki chuckled once, staring ahead. "Life," he replied dryly. After a moment, he turned to Fandral with a frustrated sigh , meeting his jade gaze in desperation. "I don't fit in here. I'm not like Thor, you, anybody," his brow furrowed with pain and frustration, "I don't even know why I bother. Nobody wants me here, in Asgard, at all," he vented, his voice breaking. He could feel tears stinging in his eyes and fought to keep them at bay.

Fandral took a sharp intake of breath, as if he had been punched in the stomach. He stopped his steed. "That is truly how you feel, my prince?" he asked, already knowing the answer. Loki stopped a moment later, turning to face Fandral once more. Tears were gleaming in his eyes as he nodded. He let out a dry sob turning his face away. They were just inside the palace grounds. Fandral dismounted his steed and walked round to Loki, pulling him gently from his saddle. A tear was trickling down Loki's pale cheek.

Fandral pulled him into a tight embrace, wrapping his warm arms around Loki's tense frame.

Loki stiffened for a moment, before sinking into Fandral's chest, a wail escaping his throat and tears steaming down his face. He reached his arms around Fandral's waist, gripping his cloak as sobs wracked through his body.

Fandral rubbed his back soothingly, his lips pressed into Loki's hair. His heart ached for Loki and seeing Loki in so much distress sent pain shooting through his own body.

Fandral lowered them to the ground so that they were sitting on the grass, Loki curled against him. He held Loki closer as he cried, murmuring into his hair, pressing light kisses onto his raven locks.

They sat under the full moon for hours, until Loki fell into a fitful sleep, his brow still furrowed and his breathing coming in uneven sobs.

Fandral laid Loki in the grass as he stood, then lifted him onto his horse, who stood grazing nearby, before riding up to the palace, Loki's body supported against his chest.

Upon reaching the palace, he took Loki in his arms and carried him to his chambers. He laid Loki down on his bed, prying Loki's fist from the front of his tunic with a sad smile. He removed Loki's over-garments and covered him in his sheets.

He searched the room for a quill and scrap of parchment before scrawling a note for Loki.

Placing the parchment on the table by Loki's bed, he looked down at Loki's sleeping form. His face creased into a fond smile. The prince was truly beautiful, if only he saw himself as Fandral saw him.

He leant down and pressed a kiss to Loki's forehead before taking leave to his own quarters, his mind in turmoil as he mulled over Loki's words with sadness in his heart.

~


	2. Can't Help but Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Spar with me?" Fandral asked, a mischievous shine in his eyes.  
> Loki rolled his eyes at his friend's excitement.  
> "Very well," he muttered jokingly, allowing Fandral to drag him by the hand to the ring, a quiet chuckle on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was a little later than I was hoping to get it out but I've been ill for the last 5 days so it's been kinda hard to write u feel me  
> ANYWAY it's here now yay :D  
> Thank you for such positive feedback on chapter 1 it made me grin so much  
> This chapter is dedicated to Emily cos it was her birthday on Nov. 19th and she's been my best friend since forever so ILY EMILY YE  
> Without further ado...

Loki awoke the next morning with the sun streaming through the window, warming the space beside him on the bed. He stretched with a purr in the back of his throat before turning onto his side and nestling further into his cushions, his back facing the sultry light filtering into the room.

A tray of fruits and milk stood on the table by his bed as usual. He was rather comfortable among his sheets and did not feel the urge to bathe before he ate as he usually would. Slowly, he shuffled into a sitting position before reaching over for the jug of milk and honey.

His eyes caught sight of a small scroll of parchment he was sure he hadn't left there the previous night. He frowned to himself as he tried to recall the evening's events from his sleep fogged mind.

He picked up the parchment with some trepidation. His brow creased further when he recognised his name written in Fandral's elegant script. What was he doing in Loki's quarters-?

With a sudden groan he remembered what had passed.

"Oh my stars," he all but whimpered, his head sinking into his hands. A tidal wave of embarrassment and shame washed over him as he remembered how he had sobbed like a child into Fandral's tunic, spilling out all the pain he so desperately tried to hide.

"I am a fool," he cursed himself, is stomach suddenly nauseous. What must Fandral think of him now? Loki, the Prince of Asgard, nothing but a weak, sensitive child.  
With much hesitation, he unfolded the parchment to read Fandral's note inside, his heart heavy with dread.

' _My dear prince_ ,' it read ' _How my soul aches for you. It is not pity I feel, but a pain of my own, that you will never see yourself as I see you. You have always been my friend and always will be. Your worth is greater than all the stars in the sky, I only wish you could see it. Your loyal friend, Fandral_.'

Despite his embarrassment, Loki couldn't help but be warmed by Fandral's kind words. He smiled despite his shame, folded the note, and slipped it inside the cover of his book.

* * *

 

Later that day, Loki sought out Fandral, in order to apologise for his behaviour the previous evening. He walked out to the training grounds, lurking in the shadow of an old tree as he watched Fandral spar with Hogun. Loki marvelled at Fandral's grace and precision as he fought, admiring his flawless technique and his fast and succinct execution of attacks.

After a while of close combat, the two men stood breathless before one another. Fandral was speaking to Hogun, a warm smile on his face. Loki was too far away to make out his words, but from Fandral's hand gestures, he decided they were discussing tactics.

Eventually the two repositioned themselves and readied to fight once more.

Fandral swept his head in the direction of Loki's shelter to shake the stray curls from his brow. Instantly, he caught Loki's gaze. He straightened out of his crouch as Hogun leapt at him, stepping towards Loki as Hogun landed in a heap where he had been crouching before.

Loki prepared his thoughts momentarily before standing straighter and walking out to greet his friend.

When they reached, a fond but concerned smile spread across Fandral's face.

"How are you, my prince?" Fandral asked softly, stretching out a hand to briefly cup Loki's jaw.

Loki ducked his head, shying away from Fandral's touch. "I would like to apologise for my appalling behaviour yesterday eve," Loki replied with a remorseful smile, deftly avoiding the question Fandral had placed to him. He stared at his feet, afraid his eyes would betray his emotions, despite his careful mask, if he met Fandral's sharp eyes.

Fandral tucked a finger under Loki's chin, lifting his head up, a sad frown marring his usually cheerful face as he searched Loki's gaze.

"Loki, what you told me last night should bring neither shame nor embarrassment upon you. As much as it saddens me to know you feel that way, I am pleased you told me. And I will endeavour to show you your worth." He lowered his hand to Loki's shoulder, his voice ringing with conviction, as if he had made an oath.

He grinned suddenly, keen to distract Loki from his apparent embarrassment.

"Spar with me?" he asked, the mischievous shine returning to his eyes.

Loki breathed out a laugh. "Thank you, dear friend, for everything, but I cannot interrupt you any longer. I should go and allow you to continue as you were."

"Nonsense!" Fandral cried with a loud laugh. He clapped Loki on the shoulder before removing his hand. "It will do you good," he grinned excitedly. Fandral enjoyed sparring with Loki; he was fast, tactful and entirely unpredictable.

Loki rolled his eyes at his friend's excitement, pushing relief and gratitude to the back of his mind.

"Very well," he muttered jokingly, allowing Fandral to drag him by the hand to the ring, a quiet chuckle on his lips.

* * *

 

The two men turned to face one another, dropping into crouches and watching carefully for any sign of attack. Others were sparring around them; Sif was holding the upper hand against Thor to their right and Volstagg was battling three soldiers somewhere behind Loki.

Loki and Fandral began circling one another, prowling cautiously, waiting for the initial attack.

Without warning, Loki pounced, flying through the air at Fandral, who reacted quickly and spun off to the side. Loki landed deftly and whirled round to face his opponent again, a hungry grin forming on his face.

This time, Fandral ran at Loki. Loki met him, locking shoulders and throwing Fandral over his back. Fandral flipped over onto his feet with a sharp laugh.  
Facing one another again, they crouched low. They jumped together, Loki snapping an arm out to jab Fandral in the ribs. His strike was deflected, Fandral using his outstretched arm to pull Loki towards him, knocking his feet out from under him.

Loki twisted himself round as he fell, an arm swiping Fandral's shin, causing the blond to fall to the floor alongside him.

With practiced speed, Fandral rolled to his knees, using his free arms to pin Loki down before he managed to get up.

Loki chuckled, rolling his hips up so that his feet dug into the floor, before bringing his elbows up and curling into his chest, knocking Fandral backwards as he flipped into a crouch.

Fandral spun round, hands splayed on the ground as he pushed himself to his feet, his grin bright and excited.

Loki stood too, before stepping forward with a sharp jab to Fandral's torso.

The jab caught Fandral in the ribs. Fandral reacted quickly by sidestepping Loki, his ankle locking around the back Loki's calf. He pulled his foot towards him, reaching out an arm to pull Loki into a headlock, unsteadying Loki's feet.

Loki was forced to spin round with a sharp intake of breath, his back pressed to Fandral's chest. He grabbed Fandral's arm, relieving the pressure from his throat, before throwing Fandral effortlessly over his shoulder, a feral grin on his face.

Loki pounced, but Fandral rolled out from under him, grabbing Loki's ankles in midair, dragging him to the ground.

Fandral rocked onto his feet, Loki springing up to meet him with a jab. Fandral grabbed Loki's arm before he could strike his ribs and pulled Loki towards him, rolling him over his hip and knocking him back to the floor.

Loki let out a sharp breath as he hit the ground and coiled into himself, ready to pounce up.

Fandral laughed, launching himself on top of Loki, pinning him to the ground by laying his body over Loki's heaving chest.

He grinned down at Loki, exhilarated, a victorious chuckle bubbling past his lips. Loki grinned up at him, slightly breathless, his quiet laugh joining Fandral's. As Loki remained pinned under Fandral, they became aware of how close their faces were.

Their laughs subdued. Fandral stared down at Loki, his eyes almost hungrily raking across Loki's face; the gentle flush on his cheeks, the brightness in his eyes.  
Loki stared back up with wide eyes. His gaze flickered down to Fandral's lips momentarily before rising again to meet intense jade eyes. He could feel Fandral's hot breath against his face and anticipation curled in his gut.

Fandral's head dipped minutely closer to his. Loki pushed his chin up, until there was barely any space between their lips. The air was thick around them and adrenaline was thundering through their veins-

"That was an excellent fight, brother," a booming voice called out.

Fandral sat up sharply, like a deer caught in the woods, his thighs straddling Loki's waist. Loki looked over at Thor, equally alarmed.

Fandral leapt to his feet with a startled laugh, pulling Loki up with him.

"Your brother is quite skillful, is he not," Fandral called back as Thor jogged over to them, clapping Loki on the shoulder.

Loki stood beside Fandral, rendered motionless by a mix of shock, confusion and something else twisting in his stomach.  
Thor laughed as he neared them, his eyes sparkling. "Indeed he is, and we must not forget, lest it be the end of us," he chuckled, enveloping Loki in a none too gentle hug when he approached.

Loki snapped out of his trace-like state, patting Thor awkwardly on his back.

Thor stepped back, still grinning widely. "Lady Sif triumphed over me as usual," he laughed, swinging Mjölnir absently at his side.

Fandral laughed along, stepping closer to Loki and draping an arm over his shoulders.

"It's hardly a surprise; you're all brawn and no tact," Loki teased with a smirk, his voice still sounding somewhat distant.

Thor laughed louder still, the day's vigorous training having put him in exceptionally good spirits. "We'll see," Thor chuckled lightly with a sly grin.

"Ooh, I'm terrified," Loki scoffed, "what could you possibly be planning," he wondered rhetorically, causing Fandral to snort beside him.

Thor grinned. "Just you wait, brother," he replied nonetheless, his tone playful.

A queer rumbling noise came from Thor. He looked down at his stomach.

"Ah, must be time for lunch," he announced gleefully, his eyes lighting up. "I'm going to the palace, join me friends."

"We'll follow, go ahead with the others," Fandral laughed.

Thor grinned and turned to catch up with the rest of his friends, his cloak billowing behind him.

Once Thor was out of earshot, Fandral turned to Loki, his hand falling to rest at the back of his neck.

"That truly was an excellent fight," he commended, in agreement with Thor's earlier statement. "I don't understand why you don't join us more often."

The smirk Loki had placed on his face dropped into a small smile as he turned his head to face Fandral.

"Thank you, dear friend," he replied. "I would join you, but I don't particularly enjoy being constantly viewed in the shadow of another," he muttered, sighing heavily, his eyes now on Thor's departing form.

Fandral frowned, opening his mouth to speak.

"You didn't fight poorly yourself," Loki cut across him, his light tone somewhat forced as he turned his gaze back to the older man.

Fandral's face quirked into a puzzled smile. "Thanks," he chuckled, not pressing his question.

Loki's lips turned up into a small smile, keen to steer the conversation away from his insecurities. He placed his hand on the small of Fandral's back.

"Come, let us dine with the others," he suggested, as he began to lead the way through the fields to the palace.

Fandral smiled to himself and fell into stride beside Loki, wrapping his arm more snugly around Loki's shoulders.

* * *

 

Over lunch, Thor, the Warriors Three and Lady Sif were making plans to travel to Alfheim the following week.

Loki sat with them as they feasted, pushing his food around on his plate instead of actually eating, whilst trying not to look too disheartened at Volstagg's and Hogun's painfully obvious efforts to keep him excluded from their discussions as much as possible.

Fandral conversed with his friends enthusiastically, the excitement of an adventure on the horizon lifting his spirits further. He did, though, pose as many questions as he could to Loki, even things that were straightforward and indisputable, such as "where do you think it would be best to set up camp?" and "what is the best path to take when travelling to Alfheim?".

Loki was thankful for Fandral's efforts, and he offered his friend small, appreciative smiles whenever their eyes met, but the coldness of the others at the table, or utter indifference in Thor's case, made his heart sink lower with every passing minute.

After what seemed an age, Loki sighed and pushed his plate away, food untouched. He excused himself quietly and shuffled out of the hall, feeling worse than before when nobody called him back.

He hung his head, a weary sigh passing his lips.

Wandering through the halls a while longer, he decided to retire to the library, knowing he could find some peace in the constancy and comfort of literature.  
He strolled among the aisles, and soon had a three foot high stack of books floating behind him, courtesy of his magic, as he plucked titles he had not yet read off the shelves.

A while later, he sat in his most favoured corner of the large hall, surrounded by books, poring over an old copy of the History of Yggdrasil. Engrossed in his studies, he did not hear a set of crisp footsteps approach.

"Thought I might find you here."

Loki's head snapped up to meet Fandral's jade eyes. He stood leaning against the nearest bookshelf, arms folded lightly across his chest, a small smile quirking his lips.

"I would have come sooner, but they needed help deciding the final few details," he explained, pushing off the bookcase and walking towards Loki.

"You didn't have to come," Loki replied, tone bordering apologetic, making a note of the page he was reading, before shutting the book and placing it on the ground beside him.

Fandral sat on the floor before him and crossed his legs, mirroring Loki's position.

"I wanted to see if you were alright," he argued with a frown. "You barely touched your food at lunch."

Loki shrugged, looking down, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. "I wasn't hungry," he replied.

Fandral reached out to take Loki's hands, easing the tension out of them as he took on I'm each of his own.

"Of course you weren't," he teased, his tone light.

Loki rolled his eyes despairingly. "I wasn't," he insisted, the ghost of a smile creeping onto his face. Loki hated, and loved, the way all his walls came down around Fandral. Fandral was the only person Loki let himself trust, because he felt that Fandral understood him.

"Of course," Fandral repeated with a smirk.

Loki scoffed in the back of his throat. "You're unbelievable," he complained, unable to hide the smile in his eyes.

Fandral laughed. "All part of my charm," he returned with a wink, pleased at the subtle blush colouring the tips of Loki's ears.

Loki pulled his hands away from Fandral's, picked up his forgotten book, and swatted Fandral playfully on the arm with it, a quiet laugh escaping his lips. He settled back to read his book again, knowing Fandral would join him, as he had done so many times before.

Fandral chuckled as he manoeuvred himself to sit beside Loki, close enough for their knees and elbows to brush whenever they moved.

They read together in a comfortable silence, Fandral's legs now outstretched.

Loki hummed to himself as he turned the page, as he occasionally did when memorising something. Loki shifted his body as he flipped the page, lying on the floor with his head resting on Fandral's thighs.

Fandral smiled fondly down at Loki before returning his gaze to his book, one of his hands finding its way to card gently through Loki's raven hair as they read.  
In truth, Fandral barely saw the words inscribed on the pages before them. His mind was too preoccupied to concentrate on Elven legends or whatever it was he was reading.

He was kicking himself for not noticing Loki's insecurities earlier. He could see them now, they were obvious. Why hadn't he done anything about it? And what the Nine was he going to do when he would finally be able to admit what the feeling was growing under his ribs?

Whatever may happen, he just hopes he will never lose sight of Loki, never let him beyond his reach, because losing Loki would be losing his whole world.

~


	3. To Alfheim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I won't feign excitement for our journey then," Loki called. "But what I will do, is challenge you to a race," he grinned.  
> Fandral's smile widened into a grin, his eyes flashing. "Very well," he laughed. "No magic shortcuts," he cried before urging his horse to pick up speed.  
> Loki, leaned low over his horse. He picked up pace once more, laughing as the wind whipped through his hair as he sped down the slopes to the Bifrost.  
> Up ahead, the portal waited for them, already connected to Alfheim.  
> Loki urged his horse faster still as they crossed the Bifrost, his speed matching Fandral's.  
> The two riders galloped on, not slowing their speed as bright lights encircled them and they were whisked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there :D I just wanted to apologise for the lateness of this chapter (again) BUT I have decided to schedule updates to EVERY SATURDAY so I don't keep putting it off and to keep the story consistent.  
> I also wanted to thank you all for reading my fic so far. Thanks so much for the kudos and the lovely comments, it really means a lot (:  
> This one is a bit of a filler chapter, I just wanted to introduce (or hint at) a few things and I don't want to rush this story, so next chapter should have more plot development. Hope you enjoy (:

Fandral wandered through the dim halls of the palace, his head bowed in thought.

It was late, but his mind and body were restless and his quarters were becoming extremely confining. It was nightfall when he and Loki parted ways after many hours in each other's company and Fandral's mind had given him no relief since. His thoughts were in turmoil, whirling round his brain in a confused frenzy, all of them concerning his prince.

Thinking about Loki warmed something inside Fandral; whenever the prince crept to the forefront of his mind, which was an alarmingly frequent occurrence, he felt the sparks of a fire light behind his ribs. It was a different burn to the warmth he felt when thinking of his family or his close friends. It was deeper, in a way, and seemed to touch his very core. He knew- no, was _certain_ of what it was, but dammit he was terrified to admit it to anyone, even to himself.

Loki had always held a special place in his heart. He recalled fondly the many times he and Loki got up to all kinds of mischief, of course when they were much younger, by playing harmless pranks and jokes on their friends and on notable members of Odin's court

He remembered the way Loki would excitedly tell Fandral the new things he had learnt from the many hours he spent in the library and the way he would join Loki in his studies, much in the same way they had that afternoon, holed away in their quiet little corner of the realm among the countless books and shelves and comforting silence.

He remembered the excitement and wonder burning in Loki's deep emerald eyes, calculating and curious. Of course, Loki's eyes were still as sharp and beautiful as they had been, but something else lay in his gaze, something dark and hidden. Fandral wondered how he had not noticed it before now.

His brow furrowed further. He let out a displeased grunt, clasping his hands behind his back.

"For a hero," he muttered to himself, "you really are a coward."

He sighed in frustration and raised his head, staring down the long corridor in front of him. He was giving himself a headache and was getting nowhere with his pain.

He turned back in the direction of his quarters, remembering he still had some mead left in his store. He hoped it would be enough to ease his mind enough to allow him to fall asleep.

* * *

 

The following days passed in a frenzy, as they usually did before an excursion.

Loki was being called all over to advise on spells and enchantments needed for the preparations, Fandral was watching over the men training to accompany them along with with Thor and Hogun. They rose early and retired long after nightfall. Loki and Fandral barely saw one another, save for quick smiles as they strode down the corridors or hurried conversations over breakfast and supper.

Soon, the day of their departure arrived. The party gathered in the training grounds. Excited chatter and laughter filled the air.

Thor stood at the forefront of the crowd, his arms flung over Hogun's and Sif's shoulders as he waited with his friends.

Loki hesitated under a tree at the top of the field, looking down on the warriors congregating below. He had tried feeling excited for the excursion, he really had, but he couldn't find it in himself to be thrilled, largely due to his increasing insomnia and loss of appetite (which he had no means to explain), so he contented himself with feigning his anticipation for the benefit of his brother and to some extent, though he would deny it vehemently if asked, Fandral. Plastering a grin on his face he jogged down to join the crowd.

Thor caught sight of him and ran up to meet him, leaving his friends to envelop Loki in a tight hug.

"Brother," he exclaimed with childish glee. "Is it not exciting to finally be leaving," he grinned, pulling back to clap Loki heavily on the shoulder.

Loki chuckled fondly. "It is indeed," he agreed. "Come, let us join your friends," he suggested, before continuing down the field, Thor trotting beside him.

Fandral grinned at him as they approached. Loki reciprocated the smile, slowing to a walk as he joined the crowd.

"Loki," Fandral greeted, dropping his bag to clasp Loki's forearm. Loki clasped Fandral's arm firmly, his smile soft. "How are you my friend? It seems an age since we last spoke." Fandral laughed. "Indeed it does," he agreed. "I am well, excited more than anything else." Loki chuckled in response.

Fandral released his hold on Loki's arm, fingers trailing over the back of his hand. Loki shivered at the light touch, hiding it by adjusting the straps of his armour.

A hush fell over the crowd a moment later, thier gazes turned upwards. Loki turned to follow their gazes. Odin was descending to greet the crowd, Frigga at his side. He stood halfway up the incline, staff in his hand. When he stopped, his sons and the warriors bowed their heads, sinking to one knee in respect.

"My people," he addressed the crowd in a loud voice. "On your visit to Alfheim, be sure to retain the standards you practise here in Asgard. Uphold our name and respect your hosts." He paused, his good eye sweeping over the crowd. "Remember, this is not a purely social visit. Hunt to your heart's content by all means and bring back plenty to your families. However you must not forget the reason you are going. The Elves informed us so some insecurity in their borders. It is your duty to help secure them and arrest any malicious trespassers."

He paused again before continuing with a softer expression. "My bountiful blessings upon you all and I wish you all a safe return," he finished.

Thor stood, raising Mjölnir above his head. "Long live the King," he shouted, his voice carrying across the fields.

The crowd stood around him, raising their weapons too. They chanted with him, their voices loud, full of conviction and determination. Odin turned to depart.

Frigga met Thor's and Loki's eyes in turn and mouthed a worried " _Be careful_ " to them before following Odin over the crest of the hill.

The crowd began to speak once again, an atmosphere of anticipation forming around them.

Thor spoke up above the noise. "Let us mount our beasts and make a brisk path to the Bifrost." The congregation cheered and began moving to where the stable boys were waiting with their horses.

Loki took the reins from the boy minding his horse, patting her nose fondly. He walked round his horse and mounted her with practiced ease. As he settled into the saddle, he felt eyes on his back. Turning round, he caught Fandral glancing at him with a strange expression. Fandral caught his gaze before looking away. Loki quirked an eyebrow in puzzlement before shrugging and walking his horse over to Fandral as he climbed into the saddle of his own steed.

Loki smiled when Fandral turned to him. He opened his mouth to speak but Fandral cut him off by leaning closer to him.

"You don't have to feign excitement you know," Fandral murmured into Loki's ear.

Loki started back in shock. What in the Nine Realms allowed Fandral to see thrrough him so damn easily.

"I know what you're thinking by the way," Fandral continued, still speaking quietly into Loki's ear. "I know you, Trickster. Your masks don't fool me."

Loki breathed out a nervous laugh, fiddling with the reigns of his horse before walking her away a few feet, his heart hammering in his throat. Fandral's scrutinisation was terrifying. There was no way Fandral could know what was happening. He made sure to cover any signs of fatigue with intricate magic.

He composed himself before levelling Fandral with a challenging stare.

"Then you would know that I am completely fine and that I am not to be reckoned with," he replied, his tone careful and even. He held Fandral's gaze until the other looked away with a grim expression. Fandral turned away to follow the party to the Bifrost.

Loki hesitated, staring at Fandral's retreating back with a frown. Sighing in resignation, knowing he'd never get to the bottom of figuring Fanral out, he coaxed his horse into a canter before whipping the reins, pushing her into a fast gallop. His horse gained on Fandral's. Soon they were level. Loki slowed his pace to match Fandral's exhilaration seeping into him.

Fandral turned to him, excitement brewing in his eyes.

"I won't feign excitement for our journey then," Loki called. "But what I will do, is challenge you to a race," he grinned.

Fandral's smile widened into a grin, his eyes flashing. "Very well," he laughed. "No magic shortcuts," he cried before urging his horse to pick up speed.

Loki, leaned low over his horse. He picked up pace once more, laughing as the wind whipped through his hair as he sped down the slopes to the Bifrost.

Up ahead, the portal waited for them, already connected to Alfheim.

Loki urged his horse faster still as they crossed the Bifrost, his speed matching Fandral's perfectly.

The others in the party were already passing though the portal, vanishing into the stars beyond. The two riders followed them, not slowing their speed as bright lights encircled them and they were whisked away.

* * *

They emerged with exhilerated laughs into the vast pine forests of Alfheim, warm sun filtering down through the conifers. The riders waited just beyond, waiting for the rest to join them.

The forest was quiet, almost silent save for the quiet chatter of the warriors and gentle stamping of their horses. Loki's grin faltered slightly. The forests of Alfheim were usually full of life with Fae-folk and animals alike. It wasn't like them to be wary of the Bifrost; Asgard oft made a path to the realm by this way.

The final members of the party arrived and the Bifrost vanished, leaving nothing but its rune on the dry ground.

Loki frowned then. The forest was completely silent. He rode closer to Fandral. 

"Does something seem unusual to you?" he asked in a hushed tone. The rest of the congregation had fallen into an uneasy silence.

Fandral nodded pensively, sharp eyes darting around. "Why aren't there any-"

He was cut off by a terrible roar.

Their horses jumped and whinnied, startled by the noise. Their riders clung to their backs, so as not to get dislodged.

The men drew their weapons when they settled their beasts, forming a circle as they faced the empty forests around them.

There was silence again.

Loki's magic curled in his hands, spiking in fear and wariness. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

"Something's coming," he whispered, eyes wide.

The ground began to shake around them.

The party drew closer together, their breathing heavy with fear.

"There!" came a cry.

The men whipped round to face the direction of the scream.

Coming towards them was a huge shape, gaining on them with a speed they could not outrun.

They reformed, weapons held towards the beast.

" _Brace yourselves_ ," Thor cried as the beast pounced, its vast shadow blocking out the sun.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for any mistakes, it's 3.30am. Not sure when I'm next updating, but it should be soon. Let me know what you think! Thanks x


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